So I know that last post was a bit heavy- but that’s the point. What’s the point in having a space like this if you can’t fill it with whatever you feel like? At that point I felt exactly what those words expressed- depressed and crappy and alone.
Of course I don’t always feel that way, and the tone of this blog has been a bit down lately, but you only write when you FEEL something.
A lot of the time I have a problem in that I have tight control of my emotions. I’m usually just flat like a long, never ending stretch of road. Not many ups or downs. I don’t find many things maddeningly funny, nothing makes me SUPER happy, but not much gets me down either. Except when I lose control of the reigns and it all comes spilling out (usually in sadness).
Of course I’m not depressed all the time- I have moments of despair- but we all do.
At that point the other day, I could feel the words stumbling from my mind, finally able to say the right words, to put it in a way that meant exactly what I was trying to express, trying to feel.
Right now it’s all a jumble in my head and I don’t know if this is coming out right- I’m not feeling it I just needed to explain (to who? nobody reads this shit) (I lie, they do) (I think)(Americans?)(Not Jarrett)(Let’s see how long it is till he mentions this to me- bet it’s a month!).
I was also drunk which may have something to do with that post- that night reminded me why I don’t drink wine.
Anyway, I’m fine now, much better. Nothing super amazing to report. I will do a WIP tomorrow. It’s long overdue.